This is one of my favourite Darshans by PurnaPurushottam Shree Shreemad SwamiNarayan.
As you know, Pati-Vrati (speaking about Pati-Vrata I imply only Pati-Vrata, which is devoted only to Bhagavan Shree Krishna) does not differ from Dasya-Bhava in Vaidik Tradition, that's why:
the obedient wife of Bhagavan Shree Krishna = obedient dasi of Bhagavan Shree Krishna (female servant).
That's why after speaking about Pati-Vrata, Shree Shreemad SwamiNarayan speaks about Dasya-Bhava as well, because these two notions are more than interlinked.
Vachanmrut, Gadhada 2 - 62 "Atma-Nishtha, Pati-Vrata, Seva" (page 575, link to "Vachanmrut")
62.7. Having answered their questions, Shreeji Mahãrãj then said, “Since the day I began thinking about it, I have noticed that there are three strengths which lead to kalyãn and which lead to extreme bliss.
Of these, the first is the strength of intense ãtmã-nishthã, which is to believe a person’s true self to be the ãtmã and engage in worship of Bhagvãn, like Shukji.
The second is like the strength of Pati-Vratã, which is to worship Bhagvãn as if He is his Husband, just as the gopis did.
The third is the strength of sevã, which is to worship Bhagvãn as His dãs, just like Hanumãnji and Uddhavji.
Without these three strengths, there is no way in which the jeev can attain kalyãn. In fact, I, myself have firmly developed all three of these strengths. Even if a person possesses one of these strengths firmly, he becomes absolutely fulfilled.
62.8. “I shall now describe the characteristics of these three strengths individually.
Firstly, the following are the characteristics of a person who has realised the ãtmã. On one side there is the ãtmã and on the other side is the crowd of Mãyã – the body, the indriyas, the antah-karans, the three gun, and the panch-vishays.
The thought that rests between the two is full of gnãn.
This thought remains steady, just as the tip of a flame remains steady in the absence of wind. It is this
thought which prevents the body, indriyas, and antah-karans from becoming one with the ãtmã. In fact, even the thought itself does not become one with the ãtmã.
62.9. “When the jeev attains this thought, its vruttis, which once reached all the way to Kãshi, recede to reach only as far as Vadtãl.
When that thought is strengthened, the vruttis then recede from Vadtãl to reach only as far as Gadhadã.
Then, from reaching as far as Gadhadã, they recede and come into the vicinity of the body. From the body, the vruttis recede further and rest in the organs of the indriyas.
From the organs of the indriyas, the vruttis of the indriyas turn inward towards the antah-karans.
Finally, the vruttis of the indriyas and antah-karans become absorbed in the ãtmã. It is then that the jeev’s kãran body, which is full of worldly desires, is said to be destroyed.
62.10. “Furthermore, when this thought meets with the ãtmã, divine light is generated in the heart of the thinker, and he understands himself as being brahm-rup.
In addition, he also has the realisation of Parbrahm Nãrãyan, who resides within that brahm.
A person who has this realisation feels, ‘I am the ãtmã, and Paramãtmã eternally resides within me’.
Such a sustained state is the highest level of ãtmã-nishthã.
THE STRENGTH OF A PERSON WITH PATI-VRATÃ
62.11. “Secondly, the strength of a person with Pati-Vratã should be like that of the gopis of Vraj.
For example, from the day the gopis touched the Holy Feet of Shree Krishna Bhagvãn, all the pleasures of this world became like poison to them.
In this way, if a pati-vratã wife sees a man who is as handsome as Indra, or who is like a dev or some king,
then she would withdraw her eyes, just as when a person sees a rotting dog or some faeces and becomes extremely disgusted and looks away.
This is the highest level of Pati-Vratã.
Therefore, if a person attaches his vruttis to Bhagvãn just as a Pati-Vratã wife does with her Husband, his mind would never become pleased upon seeing anyone else.
62.12. “Thirdly, a person who has a strength of offering bhakti with sevã would like the darshan only of his Ishta-Dev;
he would like to hear talks only about Him;
he would like His Ishtadev’s nature; and
he would also prefer to stay only with Him.
However, even though he has such love, for the sake of serving his Ishta-Dev and earning His pleasure, he wishes day and night, ‘If my Ishta-Dev were to command me, I would follow that command most happily’.
If his Ishta-Dev was to give a command that would force him to stay far away, he would stay there happily, but in no way would he be disheartened.
In fact, he finds supreme bliss in following the command itself.
This is the highest level of sevã.
Today, Gopãlãnand Swãmi and also Muktãnand Swãmi have the strength of offering bhakti with sevã.
62.13. “Among the bhaktas of Bhagvãn who possess one of these three strengths, there are three levels – uttam, madhyam, and kanishth.
Those who are not found in any one of these categories can only be called wretched. Therefore, it is only proper to die after a person has thoroughly developed one of the three strengths; it is not appropriate to die if a person has not completely developed any single one of the three.
Instead, it would be better if a person lives five days longer to dispel his misunderstandings and strengthen at least one of these three inclinations, and then die.”