The following excerpt from #"Essence of Srimad RahasyaTraya Saram of Sriman Nigamanta Maha Desikar"# will be comprehensible more by prapannas from Shree Ramanuja-Sampradaya, but actually the following recommendations by Shree Vedanta Desika are universal and suit to any Vaishnava.
Please note that the concept of "minor punishment" from Bhagavan Shree Narayana to prapanna is inherent to the Siddhanta of Vadakalai (Shree Vedanta Desika, the Northern Branch of Shree Ramanuja Sampradaya), so the theme of prapanna's ill-treatment is closely connected with "minor punishment" Siddhanta.
"Minor punishment" means that Shreemati MahaLakshmi-Devi and Bhagavan Shree Narayana love their prapannas too much, so The Divya Dampatti (The Divine Pair) can't punish prapanna in the way They usually punish common jivas. So, the system of "minor punishments" for prapannas exist.
You can find more information regarding the "minor punishment" theme in the classic Granthas of Shree Vadakalai-Sampradaya (#"Shree Rahasya-Ratnavali-Hridayam"#, for example).
And of course offences/sufferings subject is connected with "the submission to the Will of Bhagavan Shree Narayana" (which is the foundation stone of Prapatti as it is!) and Sharira-shariri (jiva being Chit-Shakti and a property of Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana simultaneously).
For this reason the essence of true Prapatti in the context of Shree Narayana-Ashtakshara-Mantra (8-Syllable Mantra of Bhagavan Shree Narayana - The Supreme, Royal Mantra among all existing Vaishnava Mantras) is also being explained below.
OM VISHNUPAD SHREE VEDANTA DESIKA MAHACHARYA, "SRIMAD RAHASYA-TRAYA-SARA", A PART OF "SWANISTABHIJNA-ADHIKARA" CHAPTER:
If a prapanna has the following characteristics, he can know that he is steadfast in his essential nature:
1 - Jiva. When someone accuses him, and speaks of many faults, one should realise that they do not relate to his essential nature (jiva, soul), but only relate to the body and others, and so, should be free from sorrow or depression.
2 - Karma. As pointed out in the verse शप्यमानस्य यत्पापं शपन्तं अधिगच्छति [shapyamAnasya yatpApaM shapantaM adhigachChati]*** - "a person who abuses someone, would be amassing sin for himself, and would be getting tainted with the sin of the abused" - a prapanna should pity those people who abuse him and thus harm themselves by getting his sin.
***Note by Vishnudut1926: [shapyamAnasya yatpApaM...] is a classic Verse from "Shree MahaBharata" (Ashwamedhika Parva).
3 - Gratitude. When someone abuses a prapanna, he should feel grateful to the abuser, who will be reminding him of his faults plausible in him.
"Upakara-smriti" or having a sense of being helped by him for thinking of his nature, as pointed by Shree YamunAcharya in "Shree Stotra-Ratnam" as अमर्यादः क्षुद्र: [amaryAdaH kShudra:]*** and etc., and as expressed by Tirumangai Alwar in the verse "I have grieved and grieved".
All the faults are plausible in him, and the abuser has done a good service to him by making him remember his faults.
***Note by Vishnudut1926: अमर्यादः क्षुद्र: [amaryAdaH kShudra:] is the Verse 62 from #"Shree Stotra-Ratnam" by Shree YamunAcharya#:
अमर्यादः क्षुद्रश्चलमतिरसूयाप्रसवभु:
कृतघ्नो दुर्मानी स्मरपरवशो वञ्चनपरः।नृशंसः पापिष्ठः कथमहमितो दुःखजलधेःअपारादुत्तीर्णस्तव परिचरेयं चरणयोः । । ६२ । ।amaryAdaH kShudrashchalamatirasUyAprasavabhu:kRRitaghno durmAnI smaraparavasho va~nchanaparaH|nRRishaMsaH pApiShThaH kathamahamito duHkhajaladheHapArAduttIrNastava parichareyaM charaNayoH | | 62 | |
Translation: "I have been a transgressor of the Shastras, an evil person, fickle minded, the home for envy, lascivious, deceitful, cruel and most wicked. How may I, crossing the boundless sea of misery, serve Your (MahaNarayana) Lotus Feet?"
4 - The Will of Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana. A prapanna should be convinced of the fact that those that abuse him, are behaving so, only according to the will and prompting of the Supreme Paramatman (Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana), on account of his past karma as well as the past karma of the abuser.
All people in this world are by their essential nature, dependent on Paramatman and are all dominated by karma.
So, anything done by anybody, is on account of one’s own karma alone and therefore, a prapanna should not become disturbed in his mind, when he is ill-treated or abused or insulted by someone.
5 - Prarabdha-karma. When somebody humiliates a prapanna or abuses him, that prapanna should feel rejoicement as he will be exhausting the store of his past karma (prarabdha), by being subject to such kind of humiliation.
Essential nature of jiva and Shree Ashtakshara-Mantra.
If one will be thinking on these lines, he can understand that he is steadfast in his essential nature (essential nature of jiva as of being submissive to The Will of Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana), as understood from the first word i.e. "pranava" and the second word viz. "namas" or the Supreme Mantra of Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana:
ॐ नमो नारायणाय - OM namo nArAyaNAya
The dropped dative case on अकार [akAra] in the "pranava", signifies the subservience of the jiva to Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana and the मकार [makAra] signifies that he is endowed with "jnanam" or consciousness which is to be agreeable to all living beings.
The second word "namas" signifies dependence on Paramatman, utter helplessness and wishing good of all, according to the will of Paramatman.
So a prapanna will be realising that he is subservient to and dependent upon the Paramatman alone, and he is to be used by the Supreme Paramatman (that is by Bhagavan Shree MahaNarayana), as MahaNarayana wills, and all these signify his essential nature and if a prapanna realises these things, he can know that he is steadfast in his essential nature".
Cited from
"Essence of Srimad RahasyaTraya Saram
of Sriman Nigamanta Maha Desikar"
#Dr. N.S. Anantha Rangacharya# ~2004~
pages 152-153
OCR and introductory speech by Vishnudut1926, Moscow, January 2018